Writing on the Wall

There’s one politician who hasn’t weighed in on the ‘Islamic center in NYC’ argument. He seems like a logical person to ask, given his experiences. But George W. Bush refuses to comment. Why? Because he would buck the Republican Party line like no other.

Say what you will about Bush’s foreign policy, one of its cornerstones was pushing the notion that the United States was not at war with Islam, that it was fighting on behalf of Muslims, not against them. It was just days after the September 11 attacks that he said:

“The face of terror is not the true faith of Islam. That’s not what Islam is all about. Islam is peace. These terrorists don’t represent peace. They represent evil and war.”

Maybe it was Bush’s own religious experiences, or maybe he was just pandering. But for the 7 years he was president after September 11, 2001, George W. Bush spoke up time and time again in support of Islam and Muslims.

The GOP’s willingness to latch onto the issue is truly a sign of how polarized this nation is becoming. Using a wedge issue is nothing new (and not exclusive to the Republican Party) but it has reached a new low. Between the BP oil disaster, gay marriage in California, race baiting and immigration, do we really need to heap on religion?

It’s the economy, stupid. I think that the GOP’s inability to stomp the Democrats on that issue alone really says all you need to know about how much more effective they can govern. Unfortunately, the election is still a good 2 ½ months away.

It is going to feel like forever.

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“We respect your faith. It’s practice freely by many millions of Americans, and by millions more in countries that America counts as friends. Its teachings are good and peaceful. And those who commit evil in the name of Allah blaspheme the name of Allah.”

-George W. Bush

“America treasures the relationship we have with our many Muslim friends, and we respect the vibrant faith of Islam which inspires countless individuals to lead lives of honesty, integrity, and morality. This year, may Eid also be a time in which we recognize the values of progress, pluralism, and acceptance that bind us together as a Nation and a global community. By working together to advance mutual understanding, we point the way to a brighter future for all.”

-George W. Bush

“Some of the comments that have been uttered about Islam do not reflect the sentiments of my government or the sentiments of most Americans. Islam, as practiced by the vast majority of people, is a peaceful religion, a religion that respects others. Ours is a country based upon tolerance and we welcome people of all faiths in America.”

-George W. Bush

“We see in Islam a religion that traces its origins back to God’s call on Abraham. We share your belief in God’s justice, and your insistence on man’s moral responsibility. We thank the many Muslim nations who stand with us against terror. Nations that are often victims of terror, themselves.”

-George W. Bush

“Islam is a vibrant faith. Millions of our fellow citizens are Muslim. We respect the faith. We honor its traditions. Our enemy does not. Our enemy doesn’t follow the great traditions of Islam. They’ve hijacked a great religion.”

-George W. Bush

“Islam is a faith that brings comfort to people. It inspires them to lead lives based on honesty, and justice, and compassion.”

-George W. Bush

“America rejects bigotry. We reject every act of hatred against people of Arab background or Muslim faith America values and welcomes peaceful people of all faiths.”

-George W. Bush

“The face of terror is not the true faith of Islam. That’s not what Islam is all about. Islam is peace. These terrorists don’t represent peace. They represent evil and war.”

-George W. Bush

Noticed this was running on my work PC

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posting from my nexus one. For those times when you need to  blog
Away

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Airplane! makes air traffic control out to be an exciting adventure full of poisonous food and glue sniffing. Air Control is not the substance addiction simulator I was hoping it would be, but it does suffice as an entertaining puzzle game.

Air Control is a top-down puzzle game where you must draw flight paths for incoming planes and helicopters. The three maps have a mix of runways and helipads, and only certain colored planes can land on certain areas. Gameplay involves pressing a plane and dragging a path to its destination. The catch, of course, is that if a plane hits another one, you lose.

The game’s graphics are simple but crisp. The controls are tight and responsive, which is good since they are the cornerstone of the game. Sound is limited to rudimentary beeps and boops when clicking and guiding a plane. There is no music.

Monthly high scores for each level are available. Looking through the leaderboards made me feel incredibly inadequate, so if you are prone to low self-esteem, avoid looking there. I can only assume that there are real air traffic controllers playing.

The game comes with only three levels, two of which are boringly similar. The stage set around aircraft carrier is particularly fun, despite my low success rate. It goes something like this, only set to the Benny Hill theme song:

Pros

• Only $2.15, give or take
• Engaging (but not addictive) gameplay that eventually falls flat.

Cons

• Only 3 levels, and 2 of them are mostly the same
• No airplane sound effects

The game is available in both a Lite and Paid variety. Lite is limited to one level.

Springfield-based newspaper State Journal-Register has created some “fucking golden” ringtones from your phone drawn from Blagojevich audio recordings.

When the transcripts started coming out, I said I’d go as far as to pay money for all the transcripts in an audio book format. Then I found out they were being freely released. SCORE!

The SJ-R releases are bleeped, though, which kinda ruins it. The original tapes are not.

Sidenote- the MP3s are credited as “FBI featuring Rod Blagojevich”. Sounds like a great, topical band name to me.

Perspective matters. There is one facet of the gulf oil spill that really puts it into context, but I haven’t seen anyone else mention this.

In his testimony before a House subcommittee, BP CEO Tony Hayward is on record as saying there could be 2 billion gallons of oil left in the well. 2 billion gallons of oil that could flood the Gulf of Mexico if it isn’t stopped.

There are 42 gallons to a barrel. My shady-at-best math skills tell me that is around 47 million barrels of oil sitting down there.

The United States consumes 19.5 million barrels of oil. A day. It takes this country 2.4 days to consume the amount of oil that is left down there.

Estimations vary about how much has spilled out so far. The official Department of Energy estimate is 35,000 barrels a day, or 1,845,681 barrels since this whole shindig started.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the total oil leaked so far is the equivalent to 2.3 hours of the USA’s oil consumption.

I could ramble on about cutting energy consumption, yadda yadda yadda. But I won’t. Just look at the numbers. Think about it for a while.

I’m by no means a sports blogger (for that I turn to the ever-classy Tremendous Upside Potential) but I think today is a special occasion.

So that’s it. The Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup, the ticker tape is being swept up, Daley was roundly boo’d, and Patrick Kane is on Day One of a three month bender.

Look out, ladies. Patrick Kane is coming for you. (Sun-Times Media)

If you’ve listened to any Chicago sports radio or sat in a bar in the last few weeks, you’ll have noticed the grown men bitching and moaning (as grown men who are passionate about sports tend to do) about the Blackhawks Bandwagon.

Disclaimer on my Fan Status: I never cared about hockey when I was a kid. I started having a mild interest after the Hawks’ Winter Classic game at Wrigley Field, and it’s solidified since then. Way before you liked them, let me assure you.

Yeah, there has been a huge surge in Blackhawks-related Facebook posts in the last two weeks of the playoffs. And no doubt there is a huge jump in Blackhawk memorabilia sales (I don’t own any Blackhawk attire). Is this bandwagoning? Hell yes it is. But to what extent?

Here’s a handy graph of Google searches for “Blackhawks”

And what kind of journalist would I be if I didn’t examine the shit out of Twitter?

The Internet hunger for the Blackhawks really kicked off towards the end of April, right as the first round was wrapping up. My verdict is, the official Blackhawks Bandwagon Status (BBS) cutoff date is the start of the playoffs. If you liked them before the playoffs, you are one of us. After, one of them.

I’m generalizing, of course. Some will argue you aren’t a true Blackhawks fan unless you stuck by them when ESPN rated them the worst franchise in sports circa 2004.

So here’s my real point: Toss all this ‘bandwagon’ bullshit out the window. Anyone that started liking the ‘Hawks after June 9 is… not even a bandwagon fan. Lets be honest. The Blackhawks were a non-entity in this city before 2007. Bitching and arguing about bandwagon fans in relation to the Hawks is like arguing you were a true Diamondbacks fan in their ‘drawing board stage’ in 1997. It just makes you look like a huge boner.

In three years, the Blackhawks have gone from Chicago Fire nobody status to a city phenomenon. It wasn’t just winning the Stanley Cup that did it (the Fire can attest to that). It was the new management (duh), adding real team personalities, a huge publicity blitz and, oh yeah, getting your games on TV.

It’s too early to be talking about next year (and I sure as hell am not the person to be talking about that). Ticker tape is probably still falling in the city. My gut instinct tells me next year’s Blackhawks will be just as good. The start of a dynasty? Who cares.

Chicago is now a hockey town, a Blackhawks town, and it sure as hell wasn’t before. We can’t throw the ‘bandwagon’ label around until this team/dynasty falls apart and gets rebuilt in a decade. Then you can say “Yeah, I was a fan of the Hawks before Kaner’s knees blew out in the 2013 season!”

I bet “Chelsea Dagger” will still be stuck in your head, though.

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I’ve always found myself to be fickle when it comes to the pacing in a movie. A film usually has 20 minutes to hook me, or I’ll just be a negative nancy the rest of the time. Get Him To The Greek took 19, but that’s less than 20, so I guess it wins.

Russell Brand reprises his role from Forgetting Sarah Marshall as caricature-rock god Aldous Snow. The premise of the flick is that he was once the top of his game, then came out with an album called “African Child” that sucked. Many jokes are made comparing the album to the worst things in Africa (famine, disease, war, apartheid, real humorous stuff). There’s some weird subplot about his lover/wife thing leaving him but that ultimately ended up being a pretty minor distraction.

So here’s our washed-up rock star. Que Jonah Hill as Aaron, an agent at a record studio. Naturally, he is a huge fan of Aldous Snow. We know this because we are introduced to Aaron while a Snow song plays in the background. Five seconds later, there is a Snow poster on his wall. When record exec Sergio (P-Diddy) asks for ideas on how to revitalize the industry or some crap, Aaron suggests a reunion show. “It’d make millions of dollars!”

Jonah Hill isn’t very believable as an intern or agent for a record label, but that’s okay, he doesn’t need to be. The dialogue feel a bit forced and doesn’t have the same heart as his other films. This is where the “19 minutes” bit comes in. Fortunately these scenes are early and get out of the way.

Consider yourself warned: the movie isn’t all wacky adventures of a rock star and his label companion; there are two subplots involving the love lives of Aaron and Snow. Aaron’s girlfriend is apparently an Ambien-addicted (I’m drawing conclusions) med student who works horrible hours. Aaron wants to go see the Pixies, she wants stay at home and watch Gossip Girl. Maybe it’s because my girlfriend is a nurse who works horrible hours, but I found this a cute plot. It pops up throughout the story, but it never really becomes a drag on the story. Not like Snow’s relationship with his ex-wife.

So the foul-mouthed, eccentric Sergio/P-Diddy (who is a surprise highlight of the film) sends Aaron to bring Snow to Los Angeles. All sorts of hijinks happen in the next 72 hours. The movie trailer gives the gist of it. Of particular note is the bit where Snow does a performance on the Today Show. The audience laughed when Meredith Veira showed up. I laughed when New York Times columnist Paul Krugman makes a cameo (I don’t think anyone else in the theater got it).

So we’re treated to a series of hilarious scenes as Aaron and Snow jet from London to New York, to Las Vegas, then finally to Los Angeles. Highlights include an absinth trip, now one of my favorite drug-induced montages ever (this was when I realized P-Diddy is hilarious in this movie) and a particularly awesome scene in Las Vegas, which is the comedic highlight of the movie (and cemented P-Diddy’s role as breakout star).

Jonah Hill has another hit film on his hands, and Russell Brand (who I thought was a bit shaky in Sarah Marshall) really picked up the slack. The two make for an interesting duo- they are more dynamic than the Hill/Cera combination in Superbad. Anziz Ansari makes a cameo, but only for five seconds, which was disappointing. P-Diddy was especially good (who knew?) I could have sat through another 20 minutes of this film, and judging by the trailer, there was a lot cut out. I wasn’t a fan of Russell Brand’s “outrageous rock star” character in Sarah Marshall, but he has a certain charm as the main catalyst in this film.

Get Him To The Greek probably will be the best comedies of the year (I could be wrong). It is definitely worth seeing as soon as possible.

The certifiably insane Randy Michaels, CEO of the Tribune Company, apparently thought it was a good idea to create a list of 119 words that can no longer be used. I’m not sure if these words are banned just at WGN or at all Tribune Co. products.

I worked in the WGN newsroom last summer, and I have no idea how they are going to cope. 90% of the news we get in the City are composed of these words!

I mean, come on! “Authorities” “fled on foot” “youth” “behind bars” “senseless murders” “shots rang out” “sources say”. At least the fine folks at WGN will still maintain that folksy, down to ea… “welcome back” “we’re back” “touch base” “folks” “our top story tonight” “stay tuned”

I’m honestly tempted to get some video of Mark Suppelsa and bleep out all these ‘banned’ words. The newscast you’d be left with would be more incoherent than Governor Quinn explaining his budget proposal.

Words banned by Tribune Company CEO Randy Michaels

• “Flee” meaning “run away”
• “Good” or “bad” news
• “Laud” meaning “praise”
• “Seek” meaning “look for”
• “Some” meaning “about”
• “Two to one margin” . . . “Two to one” is a ratio, not a margin. A margin is measured in points. It’s not a ratio.
• “Yesterday” in a lead sentence
• “Youth” meaning “child”
• 5 a.m. in the morning
• After the break
• After these commercial messages
• Aftermath
• All of you
• Allegations
• Alleged
• Area residents
• As expected
• At risk
• At this point in time
• Authorities
• Auto accident
• Bare naked
• Behind bars
• Behind closed doors
• Behind the podium (you mean lecturn) [sic]
• Best kept secret
• Campaign trail
• Clash with police
• Close proximity
• Complete surprise
• Completely destroyed, completely abolished, completely finished or any other completely redundant use
• Death toll
• Definitely possible
• Diva
• Down in (location)
• Down there
• Dubbaya when you mean double you
• Everybody (when referring to the audience)
• Eye Rack or Eye Ran
• False pretenses
• Famed
• Fatal death
• Fled on foot
• Folks
• Giving 110%
• Going forward
• Gunman, especially lone gunman
• Guys
• Hunnert when you mean hundred
• Icon
• In a surprise move
• In harm’s way
• In other news
• In the wake of (unless it’s a boating story)
• Incarcerated
• Informed sources say . . .
• Killing spree
• Legendary
• Lend a helping hand
• Literally
• Lucky to be alive
• Manhunt
• Marred
• Medical hospital
• Mother of all (anything)
• Motorist
• Mute point. (It’s moot point, but don’t say that either)
• Near miss
• No brainer
• Officials
• Our top story tonight
• Out in (location)
• Out there
• Over in
• Pedestrian
• Perfect storm
• Perished
• Perpetrator
• Plagued
• Really
• Reeling
• Reportedly
• Seek
• Senseless murder
• Shots rang out
• Shower activity
• Sketchy details
• Some (meaning about)
• Some of you
• Sources say . . .
• Speaking out
• Stay tuned
• The fact of the matter
• Those of you
• Thus
• Time for a break
• To be fair
• Torrential rain
• Touch base
• Under fire
• Under siege
• Underwent surgery
• Undisclosed
• Undocumented alien
• Unrest
• Untimely death
• Up in (location)
• Up there
• Utilize (you mean use)
• Vehicle
• We’ll be right back
• Welcome back
• Welcome back everybody
• We’ll be back
• Went terribly wrong
• We’re back
• White stuff
• World class
• You folks

Let’s get one thing out of the way: This is the clearest example yet of Tim Burton making a film for the sake of ‘Burtonizing’ them. You know what I’m talking about: the art style and direction that lends itself to ‘Hot Topic’ merchandising.

If you can put that fact aside, which I could, you’ll find Alice In Wonderland to be a good waste of two hours. I specifically use the word waste, because this isn’t a ‘movie for the ages’ nor is it a particularly standout effort, despite the impressive names attaches to the flick.

Tim Burton’s film is not a retelling of the classic story, a fact that seems to have eluded many moviegoers and critics alike. His film is a sequel, a continuation of the classic story. We are introduced to a nineteen-year-old Alice who doesn’t quite fit in with the aristocratic, Victorian lifestyle laid out for her. The first half hour of the movie is especially dry and runs on a tad too long; if you’re running late for the movie, I wouldn’t fret.

The opening act gives us some useless backstory about a snobbish redhead proposing to Alice and how she doesn’t quite fit in with the aristocratic company she keeps. It’s a waste of film that could otherwise be spent exploring Wonderland; the real world setting is used to typecast Alice as an independent woman who stands out from the crowd. Real informative, Tim. Thanks for clearing that up for us.

Eventually Alice finds herself in Wonderland, but it still takes a while for the film to pick up. We’re introduced to a cast of characters familiar to anyone whose read or seen the original book or film. It isn’t until maybe an hour into the film when it really starts to find its pacing. It’s tragic, because the second act of the film is truly spectacular; if only the first and third acts could match. Here’s a spoiler for you: there is a CGI-enhanced Johnny Depp scene, and it is god-awful.

I’ll spare you the plot details. The short of it is that Alice is ‘The One’ who must slay the Red Queen’s generic CGI monster (yes, this movie has an action sequence. Remember what I said about the third act?). The story in and of itself wasn’t as bland and terrible as some people make it out to be, not that I was really expecting a deep and engaging plot. I mean come on. Tim Burton, Alice in Wonderland, 3D. What were you expecting?

Since this is the first major 3D film to release since Avatar, I figure a few words should be reserved for the visuals. The 3D was largely wasted on Alice. I don’t know if this is a result of the conversion from 2D to 3D (a process which Cameron soundly knocked) or if Avatar just spoiled us all, but the 3D was a waste of time and money in this case. Burton had to stoop to ‘cheap 3D tricks,’ mostly things like “objects fly at the camera!”.

The 3D in Avatar was subtle; you could tell the film was built around the 3D effects. In Alice, it was distracting and you could tell Burton built the 3D effects around the film.

Burton created his own dark, demonic version of Wonderland to match the dark, demonic backstory. Some of the visuals have been knocked by the Twittersphere. That issue probably could have been avoided if the audience was given another token flashback sequence or two to contrast the ‘White Queen Wonderland’ with the ‘Red Queen Wonderland.’ All in all though, it’s about what you’d expect from a Burton flick. It isn’t anything we haven’t seen before, but damn if it didn’t look good.

The acting is what makes AND breaks this film. Johnny Depp got top billing for this film and subsequent interviews show he put the same level of research into the characters that he usually does, despite the write-offish appeal the Mad Hatter presented him. Depp does his best with he was given. Especially noteworthy are the scenes between the Hatter and the Cheshire Cat; it hinted at a far deeper relation I wish would have been explored.

Unfortunately, the Mad Hatter character was not given as much room to develop as he should have been. You could see the longing for character development in Depp’s eyes when he went into a spat of twitching or when he asks for words that start with ‘m’ (an allusion to mercury).

Mia Wasikowska is the title character, and I could not be more meh about her performance. I really, really, really wanted to like her. She has the kind of goofball look and attitude that is perfect for Alice, but so many of her lines have such a monotonous, drab delivery. I don’t think this is an issue with her skills as an actor, I’m more than happy to blame the script and directing for her shortcomings.

Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen more than makes up for the Depp/Hatter strangling. Whereas the Hatter was a one-dimensional character with an actor yearning to break free, Carter is more than happy to act within the realm of her one dimension. She’s utterly fantastic and probably the most redeeming quality of the film.

As a random sidenote, something felt not-quite-right about the editing of this film. I don’t know if it was the actual editing, the directoral pacing, or just how the actors delivered their lines, but every once and a while a scene would leave me scratching my head, wondering what had just happened.

Alice In Wonderland is a good way to spend an afternoon if you have the time, but it isn’t worth running out the door to see it as soon as you can. The lackluster 3D effects means you’d be perfectly fine waiting for a DVD release.