Let’s get one thing out of the way: This is the clearest example yet of Tim Burton making a film for the sake of ‘Burtonizing’ them. You know what I’m talking about: the art style and direction that lends itself to ‘Hot Topic’ merchandising.

If you can put that fact aside, which I could, you’ll find Alice In Wonderland to be a good waste of two hours. I specifically use the word waste, because this isn’t a ‘movie for the ages’ nor is it a particularly standout effort, despite the impressive names attaches to the flick.

Tim Burton’s film is not a retelling of the classic story, a fact that seems to have eluded many moviegoers and critics alike. His film is a sequel, a continuation of the classic story. We are introduced to a nineteen-year-old Alice who doesn’t quite fit in with the aristocratic, Victorian lifestyle laid out for her. The first half hour of the movie is especially dry and runs on a tad too long; if you’re running late for the movie, I wouldn’t fret.

The opening act gives us some useless backstory about a snobbish redhead proposing to Alice and how she doesn’t quite fit in with the aristocratic company she keeps. It’s a waste of film that could otherwise be spent exploring Wonderland; the real world setting is used to typecast Alice as an independent woman who stands out from the crowd. Real informative, Tim. Thanks for clearing that up for us.

Eventually Alice finds herself in Wonderland, but it still takes a while for the film to pick up. We’re introduced to a cast of characters familiar to anyone whose read or seen the original book or film. It isn’t until maybe an hour into the film when it really starts to find its pacing. It’s tragic, because the second act of the film is truly spectacular; if only the first and third acts could match. Here’s a spoiler for you: there is a CGI-enhanced Johnny Depp scene, and it is god-awful.

I’ll spare you the plot details. The short of it is that Alice is ‘The One’ who must slay the Red Queen’s generic CGI monster (yes, this movie has an action sequence. Remember what I said about the third act?). The story in and of itself wasn’t as bland and terrible as some people make it out to be, not that I was really expecting a deep and engaging plot. I mean come on. Tim Burton, Alice in Wonderland, 3D. What were you expecting?

Since this is the first major 3D film to release since Avatar, I figure a few words should be reserved for the visuals. The 3D was largely wasted on Alice. I don’t know if this is a result of the conversion from 2D to 3D (a process which Cameron soundly knocked) or if Avatar just spoiled us all, but the 3D was a waste of time and money in this case. Burton had to stoop to ‘cheap 3D tricks,’ mostly things like “objects fly at the camera!”.

The 3D in Avatar was subtle; you could tell the film was built around the 3D effects. In Alice, it was distracting and you could tell Burton built the 3D effects around the film.

Burton created his own dark, demonic version of Wonderland to match the dark, demonic backstory. Some of the visuals have been knocked by the Twittersphere. That issue probably could have been avoided if the audience was given another token flashback sequence or two to contrast the ‘White Queen Wonderland’ with the ‘Red Queen Wonderland.’ All in all though, it’s about what you’d expect from a Burton flick. It isn’t anything we haven’t seen before, but damn if it didn’t look good.

The acting is what makes AND breaks this film. Johnny Depp got top billing for this film and subsequent interviews show he put the same level of research into the characters that he usually does, despite the write-offish appeal the Mad Hatter presented him. Depp does his best with he was given. Especially noteworthy are the scenes between the Hatter and the Cheshire Cat; it hinted at a far deeper relation I wish would have been explored.

Unfortunately, the Mad Hatter character was not given as much room to develop as he should have been. You could see the longing for character development in Depp’s eyes when he went into a spat of twitching or when he asks for words that start with ‘m’ (an allusion to mercury).

Mia Wasikowska is the title character, and I could not be more meh about her performance. I really, really, really wanted to like her. She has the kind of goofball look and attitude that is perfect for Alice, but so many of her lines have such a monotonous, drab delivery. I don’t think this is an issue with her skills as an actor, I’m more than happy to blame the script and directing for her shortcomings.

Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen more than makes up for the Depp/Hatter strangling. Whereas the Hatter was a one-dimensional character with an actor yearning to break free, Carter is more than happy to act within the realm of her one dimension. She’s utterly fantastic and probably the most redeeming quality of the film.

As a random sidenote, something felt not-quite-right about the editing of this film. I don’t know if it was the actual editing, the directoral pacing, or just how the actors delivered their lines, but every once and a while a scene would leave me scratching my head, wondering what had just happened.

Alice In Wonderland is a good way to spend an afternoon if you have the time, but it isn’t worth running out the door to see it as soon as you can. The lackluster 3D effects means you’d be perfectly fine waiting for a DVD release.