Warning: The post you are about to read is incredibly juvenile

Tom Brady held a press conference Thursday afternoon to address what the media has, quite unfortunately, dubbed ‘DeflateGate.’

For those not up to speed: 11 of the 12 Patriots game balls in Sunday’s AFC championship game were found to be significantly under the NFL’s pressure standards. It’s a serious matter, and it is currently being investigated by the league.

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There is a certain nuance to diffusing potentially serious situations with humor, and Tom Brady is clearly a master at it. His press conference was packed to the brim with the sort of ballsy innuendo that would make 12-year-old boys everywhere proud. It

Obviously the Internet ate it up.

I understand if you don’t want to scroll any further. Frankly, I’m a little embarrassed having written this post. For those of you who keep scrolling, you won’t be disappointed.

Do not touch or rub them

Tom Brady likes the balls

Some guys like old balls

Big ones! Small ones!

Twitter practically tripped over itself to make jokes

And then there is NFL ESPN analyst Mark Brunell, who seemed to be on the verge of tears.

It’s just a game, man!